The stubborn, stout Smash and Go'nads faced off against the maniacal Meathooks in a case of trench warfare. The Go'nads came off a disappointing tie versus the Blueriver Wardoves in their last match, while the Meathooks were taken by surprise when the upstart Bloodsand Blasters squeezed out a 1-0 victory against the orcs.
Hostilities opened with a high kick which couldn't be reined in by Dick Gozinia, but the dwarves were anything but discouraged. Stu Padasso, blitzed his way into the face of black orc Beefquake, who fell to the earth with a thunderous thump. The medics went to work quickly however, and the big fella shrugged off what could have been a crippling injury. To make matters worse for the Meathooks, Euin Whatarmy, dwarf troll slayer and all-around dangerous fellow, shoved star orc blitzer Beef Bigaxe into the restless crowd, and suffered for it as his hand was viciously smashed against the guardrail. Bigaxe is expected to be sidelined for his next game.
The orcs needed a response and they got one, from the hard-working Hamfist Goreguts. Goreguts lined up dwarf runner Adam Meway and ran him into the ground, leaving the sore dwarf out for the match and likely the next one too. The dwarves managed to get the ball moving downfield in the meantime, but couldn't capitalize on the drive when Stu Padasso took a tumble on the goal line and lost possession. In desperation, orc blitzer Moose Burger hurled the ball down the pitch, but there was no one nearby when it landed. For the time being, the Meathooks were happy just not to be trailing in a second consecutive game.
In the push to get back to the ball, line orc Hamfist Goreguts again left his boot mark on the match as he trampled runner Dick Gozinia, nearly breaking the dwarf's leg. The apothecaries were well prepared, though, and Gozinia was unscarred and rejoined the team the following drive. Picking up the loose ball, Moe Lester of the Smash and Go'nads attempted a deep pass of his own, only to drop the ball on the windup, dropping it off the helmet of lineman Eric Shun, who managed to hold onto it. Lester was seriously off his game today, as he subsequently failed to take the handoff from Shun immediately thereafter. The first half wound down without any actual scoring, though Lockjaw the line orc managed to shove Euin Whatarmy out of bounds and through a poorly assembled bleacher, and the troll slayer was removed from the match to deal with several dozen deep splinters.
Set to receive for the second half, the Meathooks prepped their famous goblin toss strategy, hoping that their better mobility would leave the dwarf team flagging behind them as they ran in for a touchdown. Regrettably the play couldn't get off the drawing board safely, as the dwarven coverage proved too good to eliminate threats to the goblins. Stu Padasso redeemed himself for his earlier gaffe by laying out the hapless Bacon Sandwich and leaving him with a permanent, chronic lower back injury. In brutal response, the mighty Beefquake charged into line dwarf Phil DeGrave, positively leveling the dwarf beneath his enormous girth and breaking his neck like a fortune cookie in a pile driver. The orcs hoped that this would afford them the space they needed for another shot at the goblin toss, but Hammish still couldn't get his grubby little mitts on it and it squirted free. Trying again, the determined little green man snatched up the football and scampered laterally until he was in the clear at midfield and tossed the ball across the pitch to the lurking Moose Burger. Burger couldn't get a handle on the wild throw though, and Dick Gozinia of the Go'nads instead scooped it up from where it lay. Gozinia attempted a high-risk handoff, but was not rewarded. Pouncing on the loose ball, Burger hurtled past the remaining dwarven defenders and spiked the football triumphantly in the end zone for the game's first score.
The Smash and Go'nads had little time to stage a comeback, but the Meathooks made it easy for them to get started. Another high kick allowed Dick Gozinia to get great field position, and Gil T. Azell cleared some space by shoving Grunt Skunchman out of bounds. Determined not to give an inch, though, line orc Rip Steakface throttled the aforementioned Azell, leaving him out of contention for the remainder of the match. The dwarves pressed and pushed, but couldn't make any headway. As time ran out, a suspicious bolt of lightning erupted from a hot air balloon drifting overhead, but if Hammish was its target, then the balloonist/sorcerer should be ashamed of himself, as the wily goblin nimbly dodged out of the bolt's path. Time finally ran out, with the final score a hard-fought one to nothing victory for the Meathooks.
This matches MVP accolades went to the Go'nads' Adam Meway, despite not having accomplished much at all, and to black orc Grunt Skunchman who was a protective force for his allies on the line of scrimmage.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Thursday, July 17, 2008
War Doves Renew Rivalry with the Smash N'Go Nads
The first game of The Go Nad's 2nd Season was a rematch of their last game. The Blueriver Wardoves and the Smash and Go'nads clashed on the pitch yet again.
Both the dwarves and the elves came into tonight's match with plenty to prove. Their previous encounter led to a 2-2 draw, and most players took home a sour taste in their mouths. Each had the same goal; to surpass the other and claim dominance. What would be the outcome? Beards or blossoms?
The weather was sunny and mild as the Wardoves lined up to kick to the Go'nads, cheerful and looking forward to start the game. Just as the kick was made, the elves revealed their true intentions, and caught the offense flat-footed. The blitz was on, and the Wardoves' catchers made a break for the ball. The dwarves were quick to catchup, however, and Dick Gozinia leaped helmet-first into Sutlan Spearflower, knocking out the elf before he could get a handle on the ball. Never a team to leave any question as to their ability to maul the opposition, the dwarf squad followed up with more pain. Eric Shun, previously wounded in a match last season, must have had something to prove, because he was on fire tonight. First on his list was Wardoves' lineman Mlalyn Firefawn, whom he laid out with a serious concussion. The elf medics earned their keep and fixed him up right as rain, however.
After Dick Gozinia had recovered the ball for the Go'nads, it was quickly knocked loose in the growing pile of bodies. Adam Meway nearly emerged from the heap with the prize, but was soon dragged back in. To make it out of there with the ball was going to require superhuman skill. Who better to make an attempt than Tsih Killwillow, then? The nimble heartthrob dashed his way into the mess of coverage and sure enough, emerged with the football. retreating from the maze of bodies, Killwillow handed the ball off to Albiir Featherdeath. Unfortunately, Featherdeath was too busy trying to figure out how Tish had managed to get the ball to actually complete the play, and the hard-earned ball bounced clear on his error. Seizing the opportunity and extracting himself from the pile, dwarf runner Adam Meway got hold of the ball and booked it down the field to open the scoring, leaving the elf crowd speechless and the dwarf crowd in ecstatic, alcohol-fueled chaos.
Not prepared to let the game get away from them, and on the backs of hairy, dirty people no less, the Wardoves set about their next drive with a mechanical grace. With blocks in place and the ball kicked into play, Bendark Mossfang marshaled his forces like a true gridiron general, setting up a perfect pass to Sutlan Spearflower. A quick shift here, a nimble dodge there, and the catcher was in the end zone, spiking the ball into the turf emphatically to get the elf fans back into the game. The whistle blew, and going into halftime the score was locked at one.
The second half started with the Blueriver Wardoves looking to keep up the momentum from their late touchdown. Plans often go awry in the game of Blood Bowl, however, and what on another day might have been an easily caught pass from Bendark Mossfang to Tsih Killwillow was instead bobbled, dropping into the hands of Dick Gozinia of the Smash and Go'nads. To make matters worse, Eric Shun wasn't done with his beating spree, and the dwarf lineman positively leveled Albiir Featherdeath, using the limber elf blitzer's back as a makeshift springboard. There are not many ways to deal with an airborne dwarf. Venspar Pondrazor learned this the hard way. When Shun landed on the elf lineman, the wet crunch of collapsing vertebrae was practically deafening. to make matters worse, the surly dwarf, in an effort to prop himself up, mashed his fists against Pondrazor's neck and crotch simultaneously, effectively castrating and asphyxiating the elf at the same time. There was a brief recess as what was left of Venspar was removed by a goblin spatula squad. For those who lost count, that's THREE casualties for one dwarf in one game. This Eric Shun is one to watch, folks.
Time was winding down, and while the body count was growing, the Go'nads needed points if they wanted to hurt the elves' pride as well as their players. Dick Gozinia, set upon by desperate elf blockers, dumped the ball off to Moe Lester, only to watch as the wind caught his soft pass and blew the ball directly back to him. The charging elves brought him down, and Bendark Mossfang lined up another pass to get the ball downfield in a hurry. Perhaps too much of a hurry, as the pass failed utterly and once again, a pile-up surrounded the ball. Time ticked away, and though Gil T. Azell managed to dispose of an elf receiver by putting him into the bleachers and recover the ball, the dwarves could manage no more than a half-hearted pass before time ran out. Once again, the Smash and Go'nads and Blueriver Wardoves played to a draw of 1 to 1. No satisfaction, no victor.
MVPs of the match were Dick Gozinia of the Smash and Go'nads, and Bendyrm Cloudrender of the Blueriver Wardoves, who threw key blocks for the elf squad. With a great deal of uproar from the dwarf fanbase, Eric Shun was also given a nod for setting a new precedent in the injury department, with his three consecutive casualties catapulting him to the top of the power rankings for this season. Meanwhile, a modest funeral was held for the departed Venspar Pondrazor, and the aforementioned lineman Cloudrender vowed to uphold his teammate's memory by adapting his play style.
Both the dwarves and the elves came into tonight's match with plenty to prove. Their previous encounter led to a 2-2 draw, and most players took home a sour taste in their mouths. Each had the same goal; to surpass the other and claim dominance. What would be the outcome? Beards or blossoms?
The weather was sunny and mild as the Wardoves lined up to kick to the Go'nads, cheerful and looking forward to start the game. Just as the kick was made, the elves revealed their true intentions, and caught the offense flat-footed. The blitz was on, and the Wardoves' catchers made a break for the ball. The dwarves were quick to catchup, however, and Dick Gozinia leaped helmet-first into Sutlan Spearflower, knocking out the elf before he could get a handle on the ball. Never a team to leave any question as to their ability to maul the opposition, the dwarf squad followed up with more pain. Eric Shun, previously wounded in a match last season, must have had something to prove, because he was on fire tonight. First on his list was Wardoves' lineman Mlalyn Firefawn, whom he laid out with a serious concussion. The elf medics earned their keep and fixed him up right as rain, however.
After Dick Gozinia had recovered the ball for the Go'nads, it was quickly knocked loose in the growing pile of bodies. Adam Meway nearly emerged from the heap with the prize, but was soon dragged back in. To make it out of there with the ball was going to require superhuman skill. Who better to make an attempt than Tsih Killwillow, then? The nimble heartthrob dashed his way into the mess of coverage and sure enough, emerged with the football. retreating from the maze of bodies, Killwillow handed the ball off to Albiir Featherdeath. Unfortunately, Featherdeath was too busy trying to figure out how Tish had managed to get the ball to actually complete the play, and the hard-earned ball bounced clear on his error. Seizing the opportunity and extracting himself from the pile, dwarf runner Adam Meway got hold of the ball and booked it down the field to open the scoring, leaving the elf crowd speechless and the dwarf crowd in ecstatic, alcohol-fueled chaos.
Not prepared to let the game get away from them, and on the backs of hairy, dirty people no less, the Wardoves set about their next drive with a mechanical grace. With blocks in place and the ball kicked into play, Bendark Mossfang marshaled his forces like a true gridiron general, setting up a perfect pass to Sutlan Spearflower. A quick shift here, a nimble dodge there, and the catcher was in the end zone, spiking the ball into the turf emphatically to get the elf fans back into the game. The whistle blew, and going into halftime the score was locked at one.
The second half started with the Blueriver Wardoves looking to keep up the momentum from their late touchdown. Plans often go awry in the game of Blood Bowl, however, and what on another day might have been an easily caught pass from Bendark Mossfang to Tsih Killwillow was instead bobbled, dropping into the hands of Dick Gozinia of the Smash and Go'nads. To make matters worse, Eric Shun wasn't done with his beating spree, and the dwarf lineman positively leveled Albiir Featherdeath, using the limber elf blitzer's back as a makeshift springboard. There are not many ways to deal with an airborne dwarf. Venspar Pondrazor learned this the hard way. When Shun landed on the elf lineman, the wet crunch of collapsing vertebrae was practically deafening. to make matters worse, the surly dwarf, in an effort to prop himself up, mashed his fists against Pondrazor's neck and crotch simultaneously, effectively castrating and asphyxiating the elf at the same time. There was a brief recess as what was left of Venspar was removed by a goblin spatula squad. For those who lost count, that's THREE casualties for one dwarf in one game. This Eric Shun is one to watch, folks.
Time was winding down, and while the body count was growing, the Go'nads needed points if they wanted to hurt the elves' pride as well as their players. Dick Gozinia, set upon by desperate elf blockers, dumped the ball off to Moe Lester, only to watch as the wind caught his soft pass and blew the ball directly back to him. The charging elves brought him down, and Bendark Mossfang lined up another pass to get the ball downfield in a hurry. Perhaps too much of a hurry, as the pass failed utterly and once again, a pile-up surrounded the ball. Time ticked away, and though Gil T. Azell managed to dispose of an elf receiver by putting him into the bleachers and recover the ball, the dwarves could manage no more than a half-hearted pass before time ran out. Once again, the Smash and Go'nads and Blueriver Wardoves played to a draw of 1 to 1. No satisfaction, no victor.
MVPs of the match were Dick Gozinia of the Smash and Go'nads, and Bendyrm Cloudrender of the Blueriver Wardoves, who threw key blocks for the elf squad. With a great deal of uproar from the dwarf fanbase, Eric Shun was also given a nod for setting a new precedent in the injury department, with his three consecutive casualties catapulting him to the top of the power rankings for this season. Meanwhile, a modest funeral was held for the departed Venspar Pondrazor, and the aforementioned lineman Cloudrender vowed to uphold his teammate's memory by adapting his play style.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Meet the Go Nads - Dick Gozinia
Name: Dick Gozinia
Position : RunnerBorn Richard Gozinia the young whirlwind grew up in the lovely keep of Aire Peak, raised by his father a Guard Captain.
His love for violence saw him flourish in Blood Bowl pee-wee leagues. His size at such a young age made him a perfect lineman, and he spent several summers winning pee-wee championships with the "Peak Predators".
As Dick grew up and began college Blood Bowl, his stature that once was that of a lineman was now more suited as a runner. Once Dick got the ball the rest was history. Setting records for his college team the "Aire Peak Red Anvils", Dick was drafted immediately by the "Smash N'Go Nads" of the MMBBL . Currently one season in, Dick is the teams number one offensive performer. The Terror from the Peak, Dick Gozinia.
Friday, July 4, 2008
Go Nads Bring in New Blood to take the Helm
Earlier today the MMBBL was a buz with the coaching situation in the Smash N'Go Nads camp. Rumors, combined with the 'poor' showing in their first season left many at the club wondering what would happen next. Now we know. Management has realeased a statement today naming their new Head Coach and Team Apothacary.
Muradin Froathbeard, a succesful Blood Bowl coach in the minor leagues arrived at Go Nads headquarters and was joined shortly afterwards by Admi Quartzcutter, possibly the most renowned Dwarven Sports Physician in the business to date.
Both accepted their jobs late last week and kept their travel plans 'hush hush' while the team locked in it's key players.
"Aye do YOU have a comment? Psh just as I suspected." Frothbeard told reporters as he made his way to the uppermanagement offices.
Admir arrived and gave us as much to think about as Froathbeard. His eyes closed, he seemingly floated through the front gates and with a flick of his hand closed the doors behind him.
With all the hiring of support staff, many wonder how the team will perform on the pitch, and how well the old tempers will mix with the new ones.
Muradin Froathbeard, a succesful Blood Bowl coach in the minor leagues arrived at Go Nads headquarters and was joined shortly afterwards by Admi Quartzcutter, possibly the most renowned Dwarven Sports Physician in the business to date.
Both accepted their jobs late last week and kept their travel plans 'hush hush' while the team locked in it's key players.
"Aye do YOU have a comment? Psh just as I suspected." Frothbeard told reporters as he made his way to the uppermanagement offices.
Admir arrived and gave us as much to think about as Froathbeard. His eyes closed, he seemingly floated through the front gates and with a flick of his hand closed the doors behind him.
With all the hiring of support staff, many wonder how the team will perform on the pitch, and how well the old tempers will mix with the new ones.
The End of the Inaugural Season for the Smash N'Go Nads
The Smash N'Go nads wrapped up their inaugural season in the MMBBL two weeks ago but that seems like a century ago for the Dwarven Squad. Finishing a meager 0-3-2 the team was not entirely dissapointed with their first seaon it what is quickly becoming a brutal league.
"Aye, a good year all in all. We took our lumps and passed 'em roud too!" commented team captain Achilles Punks, when asked for thoughts on the Chaos Cup season.
In a year that saw some on field wars, the Go Nads squeaked by without many losses to their roster. It has also been confirmed that the ofensive prowess displayed in their last match has been locked down for the Blood Bowl Season. Dick Gozinia and Adam Meway both signed 3 season deals with the club.
"Good to be locked in for another couple seasons, club is only gonna get bet'er" expressed Gozinia.
"It'll be niceto play with Gozinia again. Tha two of us really started click'in towards the end, n' it should be a good frame for the team to build up on" added Meway.
"Aye, a good year all in all. We took our lumps and passed 'em roud too!" commented team captain Achilles Punks, when asked for thoughts on the Chaos Cup season.
In a year that saw some on field wars, the Go Nads squeaked by without many losses to their roster. It has also been confirmed that the ofensive prowess displayed in their last match has been locked down for the Blood Bowl Season. Dick Gozinia and Adam Meway both signed 3 season deals with the club.
"Good to be locked in for another couple seasons, club is only gonna get bet'er" expressed Gozinia.
"It'll be niceto play with Gozinia again. Tha two of us really started click'in towards the end, n' it should be a good frame for the team to build up on" added Meway.
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